Putting my free time to good use, I decided to sign up for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) Walk to Cure Diabetes in San Francisco. It's a 2 mile walk 10am at Crissy Fields. Our team will be called "The Superthirsties." Click the link to join or donate. (Thanks to Kerri for having it prominently displayed on sixuntilme, otherwise I think I probably would have missed it.)
It feels strange being a part of an organized diabetes effort - increasing awareness, requesting action and sharing my diabetes world. I encountered some of these emotions with my introduction to blogging. There are some people and circle of friends I feel comfortable sharing "Superthirsty" with, including complete strangers. Yet oddly enough, many of my high school friends whom I've known for years don't even know I have diabetes. There are times when I want to scream it from roof tops so the world can get over it and move on. I've thought about a tattoo on my forehead that says "Type-1 Diabetic" to resolve the waiter's dilemma when he's trying to decide whether or not to sweep away the little plastic lancet caps I leave on the dinner table. Then there are other times when I want to hide my diabetes, make it disappear like it never happened. When I went back home for a friend's wedding last month, I didn't really make it a point of discussion. A part of me just wanted to relive old memories and act how I should be - just plain healthy. I think I have a harder time sharing my diabetes with some people that I've known for a long time because it's not a part of how they remember me. They weren't there to witness me slowly melting into my bones while eating $60 worth of groceries from Whole Foods for dinner. Everything makes less sense to them which makes my diabetes harder for them to believe. Which in turn, makes me partially relive those same emotions - how little this all makes sense and indeed how hard it is to accept. Despite the occassional discomfort and awkwardness, I've found that next to insulin, my best medicine has been talking and sharing how I feel without discrimination.
Along these lines of healing and communication, the nurses at the diabetes center brought up counseling. At first I wasn't very keen on the idea of ever beginning my sentences with, "Well, my therapist told me..." but I'm willing to give it a try at least once. Honestly, I feel like $140 for 50 min might be better spent covering both a horse riding lesson and a personal training session at the gym. Anyway, I can't knock it until I've tried it. I already know the title of my next blog: "Analyze This"
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Hey Kathy,
I've been diabetic since April of 1980. I was 5 years old at the time.
While I feel very confident in the "tools" of managing diabetes, my struggles come in the form of what I call "mental struggles".
For that part of my care, using a therapist is essential. And I wish I would have known about them BEFORE I needed to. I could have made so much headway in dealing with the psychological aspects of diabetes.
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