I'm Sorry Diabetes

Morning activities: Checked email inbox. Took 5 units of insulin for buttered sesame bagel and 2 egg whites. Called in refill for novolog, lantus and pen needles. Filled my recently purchased travel / makeup /organizer bag with various diabetes supplies. Created labels with my name and phone number for my insulin pen case, my glucometer, my new travel bag and printed some extra labels for later in case there are more things I need to label. Label label everything!

Since I've started to carry hand bags, I haven't really misplaced anything significant (knock on wood.) The last time I lost my wallet was in high school. The last time I lost my cell phone was in college at "The Bridge" in oxford, when I was wearing pants with really shallow pockets. Until this weekend, I haven't had that "stupid, stupid kathy" reaction when I realize something was missing. After I finally made it home from the train station, I received a phone call.

Man: Is this Kathy?
Me: (Hesitantly) Yes, speaking...
Man: Did you lose your insulin?
Me (in my head): How does he know I take insulin? (I look over to my bag, lo and behold I cannot find my blue insulin pouch)
Me: Yes!!! I DID lose my insulin!!!! Oh no... (where did I lose it???) How can I get it from you?
Man: You left it on the train. You can pick it up at the lost and found at 4th & King. It'll be the door on the left after you pass the ticket booths.

I immediately hopped on the bus and set out to reclaim my lost insulin. How did it fall out of my purse? How could I leave something so important to my health (and probably expensive/annoying to replace) behind? I felt guilty and irresponsible, like I had let down my diabetes. It quickly sunk in how much I depended on these medical devices and how very bad it would be if I didn't have them. When I leave the house, I don't just check for 1) cellphone, 2)keys, 3)wallet. There's also 4)insulin pouch (do I have enough pen needles, lantus, regular needles, alcohol swabs?), 5)glucose meter (enough test strips? lancets? sterile pads?) 6)emergency snack. As I described it to justin, I felt like I had forgotten to pick up my kid at school. I was thankful at the very least, that I had the foresight to write my name and phone number on the flap of the insulin pouch that served that very purpose. Hence, my inspiration for labeling.

I can do everything in my power to try not to make mistakes, but they are going to be inevitable. When I visit my endocrinologist tomorrow and find out my (first!) a1c, it's not going to be perfect even though I'm trying my best. I can make all the labels I want and take every precaution I can, but bad things will still happen.