Last night I was tossing and turning in my sleep. I vaguely recall scratching myself and feeling really itchy, but not conscious enough to realize what was going on. Around 4am I suddenly woke up to the sound of buzzing in my ear. I popped up and quickly turned the lights on. There she was...a giant black mosquito perched on the corner of my pillow.
Plan A (kill the perp): I swiped at her in hopes of squishing her body, engorged with MY blood. And despite my lightning quick bug killing reflexes (and justin can appreciate them), I missed. I walked over to the mirror to assess the damage. One big bite on the small of my back. Easy target since I'm a side sleeper. Two bites on my forehead. One bite right below my eyebrow.
Plan B (active defensive): Cover every inch of my body with material thick enough that the mosquito cannot penetrate. I proceeded to put on sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and my snowboarding socks. I covered my head with the hood and bundled down like an eskimo. I sat on my bed for a few minutes reverting back to Plan A, trying to listen for her buzzing...studying every black speck on my wall. Hoping for another chance...and there was silence. 4:20am. I crawled under my comforter and tried to wrap myself up like a fajita.
It's hot. I can't breathe under the covers. I'm afraid that once I fall asleep, I'm going to naturally pull down the covers and I will be this body, emanating heat which will make me an even better target. I listen for her again. Nothing but silence. Did I mention it was really hot being bundled under all those clothes?
Plan C (passive defense): I get up and turn the light on in the hallway and keep my door open in hope that this will draw the mosquito out of my room. I doubt this plan will work. She's too smart for that. After all, her kind has been around since the dinosaurs. They must be doing something right...
Plan D (abandon mission): I pack my bags and get all my stuff for going to work. Knowing he's out of town, I call a cab and head to Justin's to go sleep for another hour and a half. I share my battle woes with the cab driver and probably gave him much appreciated comic relief during his grave yard shift. He recommended citronella and wished me luck with "my mosquito."
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1 comment:
tsk tsk...where i come from there are usually 15+ mozzies at one time in the room. the trick is to turn on the light and sit on your bed motionless. eventually the mozzie will attack again, but this time you will be able to see it - and wallop the bugger.
us 3rd world country kids are pretty hardy, eh? :D
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