Definition of defeat

I really want to volunteer abroad. I want to work with microentrepreneurs or help transform the lives of dairy farmers in Africa. And amazingly, this opportunity came along from this awesome organization. I was selected from a database of volunteers and approached with this opportunity, maybe of a lifetime, but I guess I already knew there was a very small chance I would be able to do it. Not because I would have to leave my job or because of the recent turbulence and unrest in Kenya, but because I needed electricity, a fridge, a pharmacy and a hospital. The program coordinator said she would consider my situation and speak with her colleague about my situation because there was field work involved, and at that point I knew it wasn't going to happen. If I were them, I wouldn't pick me. And I guess, even if they let me volunteer, I wouldn't have been in a great situation.  My definition of defeating diabetes is not letting it dictate how I live my life, but it's a hard truth to swallow that diabetes is going to get in the way.  It's frustrating to wear this big logistical chain around my ankle. 

From genetic health website:

Type 1 diabetes affects 700,000 people in the United States and is the most common chronic metabolic disorder to affect children. It is most common in Caucasian populations, especially those in Scandinavia, and rare in people of Asian or African descent. Type 1 diabetes is less common than Type 2 diabetes, accounting for only five to ten percent of all cases.

Out of 100 people with Type 1 diabetes, 80 have no family members with the disease. The remaining 20 people have at least one family member with diabetes. Although most people in the population have a 0.4 percent chance of developing Type 1 diabetes, the risk increases to about two percent if your mother has diabetes and six percent if your father or siblings have Type 1 diabetes. If your sibling with diabetes is a fraternal twin your risk increases to 11 percent and it increases to roughly 50 percent if your identical twin has diabetes.

I can't help but feel like the Black Swan of diabetics. I'm Asian (rare in people of Asian descent). Neither of my parents have/had diabetes. I got it when I was 23. I guess what I'm feeling boils down to "why did this have to happen to me?" and "it's not fair." I know that is a form of whining and these are not constructive feelings. "No, you can't do ____ because you have diabetes" is not something I'm used to feeling or hearing. I feel a little bit guilty for perhaps being ungrateful for what I can do and do have. With the diabetes technology we have today, I can live much longer than I would have hoped had I had it ten or thirty years ago, in the developed world. But really - a meter and insulin is not enough.