Wishful Thinking

What I learned in the last seven days: Wishful thinking doesn't lower cholesterol (or raise standardized test scores). My last cholesterol test was about a year ago. I'm pretty sure I blogged about how my doctor told me it should be lower than it was. I think the bad cholesterol was 120 when it should be below 100, especially for a diabetic. After a year of having a less stressful job, more time to work out and focus on my health (theoretically), my bad cholesterol went up 30 points. Total cholesterol number was pretty high, but I'll have to do some googling to figure out what 230 something really means. I have a vague notion that one need not worry as long as the proportions of the components (LDL good, HDL bad & triglycerides) are in a healthy proportion. Anyway, I thought that I had a decent chance for my cholesterol to be lower without making any real changes to the types of food I was eating because I was cooking at home more and exercising more. I feel like a 7-year old who has just been denied candy for the rest of his childhood. Except I'm almost 25 and am being denied my animal fat and full-fat dairy products. Here come the words: It's not fair! I don't want to have stricter standards for cholesterol and I'm not buying into the "this is a blessing in disguise" idea at this moment. It's not like I eat rib eye steaks, ribs and butter croissants every day of the week. I'm going to have another cholesterol test with my next a1c, so we'll see how much I can turn it around.

Rules of ingestion for the next three months:
1) Focus on eating healthy fats and lean proteins like fish and chicken
2) Red meat and fatty pork (like ribs) only when it's going to be really good (eating out) and no other option on the menu is more appetizing. Cut out sausages and salami (who knows what was in there anyway.)
3) Butter...hmm, this one is hard because it's in lots of things...like pie crust, brioche, cookies. I'm going to put this one as "TBD." But in terms of spreadable butter I put on myself, I will say thin slices OK. No more english muffins dripping with butter. And if it has butter in it already (like scones), no putting additional butter on it.
4) Cheese and milk. Let's be honest...cheese is not cheese unless it has every last gram of its fat. This is a toughie because it's a great "hungry-girl-focused-on-low carb" snack. I'm going to stop buying cheese (I think we have 4 different kinds in the fridge right now, including one with bits of black truffle yum! from Trader Joe's), but allow myself to have it if I really want it when I'm out.
5) Milk. Skim mochas from blue bottle from now. And I will stop stocking the freezer with straus ice cream, especially when it's on sale.

I think these are manageable rules. I don't want to be overly strict because this is supposed to be a lifestyle change. I'm less worried about getting a lower test result next Feb...more concerned about being able to maintain this for the rest of my life.

While waiting for my refills at Walgreens, a man plops down in the chair next to me with a bag of clanking bottles. He's probably in his late 30s or early 40s. We get into a conversation about the bottles in the whole foods bag. He says he shouldn't be having them... They're gourmet root beer. Full sugar? I guess based on his body type. I tell him he should try Boylan's. They make a great diet root beer, but that's coming from a diet coke drinker. And this guy hates diet coke. I share that I'm supposed to lower my cholesterol. He laughs and says he received that mandate 12 years ago. I share that I've had type 1 diabetes for a little more than a year. He leans over and says you're going to be so mad at me, but I have type 2 diabetes. And I learn he is also battling HIV. He's only been in the hospital in recent times for dehydration (maybe from those full sugar root beers?), so that doesn't seem too bad. It seems like he has had plenty of people in his life, probably mostly doctors, yelling at him to take better care of himself. After all, it's your life. What more motivation could you need right? Unfortunately it seems like things don't work that way. I found myself to be more understanding and forgiving than I probably would have been pre-diabetes. Even though I don't think giving into your vices is the right thing to do, everyone has different standards and thresholds. Not everyone is cut out to be a vegan, wheat grass chugging marathon runner. I think this all boils down to the fact that life is not fair , bad things happen to good people, and we are not biologically created equal. And if we want to keep smoking until we get lung cancer or emphysema (yes this part is for you dad), it's our choice because it's our life and we get to deal with the consequences.