Friday, November 10, 2006

Feeling A1c pressure: lower is not better either

In another month, I will getting my second a1c test and I'm a little apprehensive. First, I feel this pressure to get a "better" result than I did last time. While it's generally good to have a lower a1c, if I strive for something that is close to a normal healthy a1c, for a diabetic this could be associated with more frequent low blood sugars and a stricter diet i.e. a lot less carbs than I am eating now (I consume at least 50-70g twice a day.) Second, I've been a lot more relaxed about control this past few months than my first few months with diabetes. If I'm hungry, I'll eat and shoot up later. I'll give myself shots later if it's not convenient to give myself insulin 15m before I eat.

It also doesn't help that I've become more secretive about being diabetic. I can't really explain it. I don't think anyone would think less of me or my abilities if they knew. If anyone asked about it, I wouldn't lie. I just don't feel compelled to share. Maybe it's because I don't feel like they know me or my abilities yet. I don't want them to have any preconceptions or misconceptions. At my old job, everyone knew me before I had diabetes. And because I was out on short term disability leave for a month, everyone knew what had happened. Upon my return I kept my emergency glucagon pen on top of my computer in plain view. I wanted my diabetes to be very prominent so it would be ok for me to leave to go to the gym and mitigate my chances of working a 100hr week. Now I've become much more discreet. While I test my blood sugar and give myself insulin at my desk, no one has really noticed (and asked me about it), despite random beep beeps now and then from my BG monitor. I don't bring my insulin pouch with me to the cafeteria if I decide to eat down there. I either eat less carbs or do it later. This is not ideal. Especially if I do this often. If I went on the pump, I would probably have more flexibility. But I'm not motivated to switch to a pump. I will probably need a not-so-good a1c result to get me there. Or some really powerful short term incentive - like wanting to become pregnant (not planning on it any time soon, but thanks for asking.)

I know I should put these tests into perspective. One BG test result doesn't change the world. Neither does one a1c test. But I can't help but feel a little performance anxiety...

In other news, I'm getting a goldendoodle puppy! Whelps born in december. Future puppy owners invited to visit at 6 weeks. We choose out top three choices. And then we pick up in Feb. Very exciting. Kind of dreading what I know will be very hard work in the early months, but it will be well worth it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hello Kathy.....The HgBA1C tests are basically blood sugar averages that really do not tell what is going on from day to day. Thus, if a person had frequent and severe episodes of Hypoglycemia in a three month period he/she would show low A1C levels. It is not a true reflection of what is really going on. Having Hypoglycemis is just as bad and dangerous as is Hyperglycemia. In Diabetes, it is all about becoming a good juggler w/o loosing balance in either direction.